Hello and Good evening my little neophytes.
I have been away from the blog for awhile due to my wife having another baby.
As I have written in a previous blog, the Lord has decided to bless me with girls and my new daughter has been a real treat.
Anneleise is her name and she is 9 pounds of grunts, shit, coos, and lots and lots of breastmilk vomit.
Just today I was lying in bed showing her black and white flashcards (this is hilarious because her eyes get as big as half-dollars) when all of a sudden....
USED BREASTMILK ALL OVER MY ARM!!!
I felt my gorge rise and as I felt a gag creeping up on me and quickly handed her to my wife, Angela The Vomit Queen.
I have nicknamed my daughter "Constant Struggle" because I believe she has not been comfortable in the past two weeks since she made the trek through my wife's vagina.
You put her on her back she wriggles and struggles. You put her on her belly..more struggles.
You sit her up to look at her. STRUGGLERAMA. You lay her cradled in your arm and she wiggles like a fish.
I am convinced that the womb must be like heaven because this kid just cannot get comfortable on the outside.
Oh well. I guess she will learn how to get situated out here sooner or later.
Now, back to the vomit.
This little titsucker breastfeeds roughly every 3o seconds. The moment the nipple comes out of her mouth, her tiny face turns red, her tiny mouth contorts into a grimace, and the all-familiar cacaphony of her cries fill the room.
My wife's nipples look like an ariel shot of New York on Sept 12th.
I cannot forsee a night that my wife and I will sleep through ever again and my darling little angel spits up whenever I enter the room (I am starting to wonder if I smell bad).
So. if you do not hear from me for awhile it is merely because I am covered in curdled breast milk gagging as I do whatever I can to make my little cherub stop crying.
So see ya!
Oh yeah, I guess I should let you see the little titmangler. So look up at the top of the screen.
