Ok.
All you hear about in newspapers, TV, and the Internet is that there is this approaching "Great Global Recession" and how the world needs to be rescued from these "TRYING FINANCIAL TIMES"
etc...
I have only one question then:
WHY THE F--K were there streaming lines outside of most department stores on the day after Thanksgiving? It looked like any other "black Friday" to me.
It seems to me that if the current state of the market was in such horrible disarray, then the average consumer would not have any extra money to spend on the shopping day that gets most retailers out of the red and into the black.
From my limited and local perspective, it appears that the American CONSUMER MACHINE is still gulping down oysters like Lewis Carroll's famous walrus.
I cannot even fathom how many heels were clipped by overzealous shopping carts on Friday.
I was not alive in the 1920's but I am pretty sure all the Great Depression stories have nothing to do with canning what little food you can garden for the winter and then running to Macy's because all linens were 25% off the day after Turkey Day.
COME TO THINK OF IT. The only people I know that didn't have ANY money to spare the day after Thanksgiving were people like me.
I find myself wishing that I had the money to play around with that I had in my early twenties.
(this is extremely depressing because I was not a college graduate at the time, and now that I am, I do not have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out).
(I blame this for our tax bracket, the fact that we do not look for public assistance, and the fact that despite the fact that I have a crippling disease I work anyway). This gets me to thinking exactly WHO is being impacted by the current economic Depression.
1) US citizens. (People who were born in the US or naturalized citizens from other nations) Illegal immigrants do not pay taxes but participate in public assistance programs. This is a double whammy because they do not contribute to funding these programs, but get the benefits of them.
2) People who are NOT lazy pieces of shit.(Nurses, construction workers, factory workers, security guards, retail workers, food service workers, public employees, etc...) If you have no desire to work and know how to use the system for your benefit, then the current financial woes should be of little consequence to you. I hold down a full time job and pay $6,000/year for health insurance. ( This does not include copays and deductibles I must hit before it starts to pay 80/20) I pay $600/month for rent (medical bills have ruined my credit so I am forced to rent) My car payment is $375/month (the only luxury item I possess is my SUV) I owe roughly $30,000 in medical bills accrued while I was in college. (I finished college despite getting a diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis going into my junior year). ALL of the financial difficulties that I face would have been avoided if I would have done the following:
Dropped out of college
Went on disability (welfare for people who are able-bodied)
Applied for a HUD residence
Applied for food stamps
Applied for Medicaid (thus erasing the medical debt that insures that I will never have money again)
Defaulted on my student loans.
I think you get the idea.
3), People who have achieved the American Dream and became successful. This is the physicians, lawyers, administrators, and small business owners. These are the people who are getting ass raped with a double barrell shotgun. They worked very hard and owe tens to hundreds of thousands of dollars in student loans and small business loans so that they could one day afford to live the good life. That is until America becomes Socialist and there is not incentive for NOT being a lazy piece of shit.
Alright.
STOP.
It appears that I have (yet again) went off on a rant.
I guess what I am trying to say is that not EVERYONE is feeling the recession that we currently are caught up in. Just people who have self-respect and initiative.
The middle and lower classes who WORK are the ones feeling it and the NEW- MONEY UPPER CLASS are going to feel it very soon.
Any way you slice it, the poverty line is going to slowly rise and consume the middle class and the lower echelon of the upper class if we do not start REWARDING PEOPLE FOR HARD WORK and PENALIZING PEOPLE FOR USING MINOR HEALTH OR MENTAL HEALTH PROBLEMS AS AN EXCUSE TO GET OUT OF HOLDING DOWN A JOB.
"I was raised in a poor neighborhood" should no longer be an excuse for applying for public assistance. (They only do it because they can).
In a nutshell, I am saying that we are not in a recession leading toward a depression unless we choose to be.
We are at a crossroads where we must make a decision.
Force people to work with minor disabilities
Force illegal immigrants to LEAVE or NATURALIZE. (This actually will increase our public assistance revenue exponentially without affecting the amount going out because they are already getting it)
Make welfare recepients do SOMETHING or stop the checks from coming in.
It is that easy.
PRODUCE or PERISH.
Which will we choose in quickly approaching 21st Century Depression?
Our answer will decide the fate of the world.
-or-
Body hair will become the new currency and I will finally be RICH :)
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Thank Heaven (for little girls).
Hello, loyal readers.
I was just thinking about my tendency to produce female offspring.
I have a 7 year old daughter and my wife is pregnant with yet another human being of the double X chromosome variety.
I realize that being 2 for 2 on the girls is not astronomically improbable, but I find myself wondering if THE BIG GUY UPSTAIRS prefers that I have girls instead of boys.
Every man dreams of his son scoring the winning touchdown in the Super Bowl. I have to say that I would enjoy having a son, but it does not look like I am going to have a boy. So I will give you a list of the things that I enjoy most about being a father to girls.
1) I have never felt so important. My daughter WORSHIPS me. I like being the "good guy". She thinks I am the greatest thing ever. She constantly wants to sit next to me and if my wife uses even the must subtle terse tone, my daughter will quickly make it apparent whose side she is on and say "Be nice to my Daddy!"
2) I do not feel the overwhelming need to be a prick to "make a man out of the boy". With a girl, you feel like you can spoil her rotten and not worry that she may not turn out right. Our expectations for girls are pretty low in this society which makes parenting easier.
3) If she throws like a girl I will not be in the least bit embarrassed.
4) Throughout her life she will provide me an excellent chance to show my virility by scaring the hell out of her boyfriends.
5) Did I mention how great it is to be treated like I am important?
6) Girls tend to take care of you when you get older. They come around alot more and make sure that everything is going well. This will come in very handy when it comes time to decide whether or not I should be put in a nursing home. If I had sons I would be eating tapioca and watching Jeopardy! before you knew what was going on.
7) The "facts of life" speech will be handled by the mother. I will be spared the whole "it is natural to play with yourself" speech or the infamous "sex is something special between two people that is meant to be treasured and not approached lightly"speech. While my wife is going through that, I will catch a Chicago Bears game on Sunday Ticket, scratch my balls, and shout Hallelujah for having all girls.
8) Although girls get in trouble sometimes, I will have fewer school principal calls, requests for bail money, and the other things that young men often bring to the table.
9) My children will not feel the need to "not become my old man". The only thing that a father does to affect his daughter's consciousness is lay the blueprint for what her future husband will be. I am doing my best by holding down a job, taking care of my kids, treating the women in my life with respect, and put family first. If my daughters future husbands do the same, then I have done a great job.
10) I will not be in a hurry to get her out of the house. I cannot forsee a time that I will think "I sure wish the kids were gone". I have no doubt that a son would drive me crazy and that I would throw a party on his 18th birthday more for myself than for him. In the case of my girls, it would not bother me if they wanted to stay forever.
Well I guess that is it.
As much as every man wants to carry on the family name and keep their lineage going through their male children, this does not matter to me and not just because of my silly sounding last name.
goodbye and God bless.
I was just thinking about my tendency to produce female offspring.
I have a 7 year old daughter and my wife is pregnant with yet another human being of the double X chromosome variety.
I realize that being 2 for 2 on the girls is not astronomically improbable, but I find myself wondering if THE BIG GUY UPSTAIRS prefers that I have girls instead of boys.
Every man dreams of his son scoring the winning touchdown in the Super Bowl. I have to say that I would enjoy having a son, but it does not look like I am going to have a boy. So I will give you a list of the things that I enjoy most about being a father to girls.
1) I have never felt so important. My daughter WORSHIPS me. I like being the "good guy". She thinks I am the greatest thing ever. She constantly wants to sit next to me and if my wife uses even the must subtle terse tone, my daughter will quickly make it apparent whose side she is on and say "Be nice to my Daddy!"
2) I do not feel the overwhelming need to be a prick to "make a man out of the boy". With a girl, you feel like you can spoil her rotten and not worry that she may not turn out right. Our expectations for girls are pretty low in this society which makes parenting easier.
3) If she throws like a girl I will not be in the least bit embarrassed.
4) Throughout her life she will provide me an excellent chance to show my virility by scaring the hell out of her boyfriends.
5) Did I mention how great it is to be treated like I am important?
6) Girls tend to take care of you when you get older. They come around alot more and make sure that everything is going well. This will come in very handy when it comes time to decide whether or not I should be put in a nursing home. If I had sons I would be eating tapioca and watching Jeopardy! before you knew what was going on.
7) The "facts of life" speech will be handled by the mother. I will be spared the whole "it is natural to play with yourself" speech or the infamous "sex is something special between two people that is meant to be treasured and not approached lightly"speech. While my wife is going through that, I will catch a Chicago Bears game on Sunday Ticket, scratch my balls, and shout Hallelujah for having all girls.
8) Although girls get in trouble sometimes, I will have fewer school principal calls, requests for bail money, and the other things that young men often bring to the table.
9) My children will not feel the need to "not become my old man". The only thing that a father does to affect his daughter's consciousness is lay the blueprint for what her future husband will be. I am doing my best by holding down a job, taking care of my kids, treating the women in my life with respect, and put family first. If my daughters future husbands do the same, then I have done a great job.
10) I will not be in a hurry to get her out of the house. I cannot forsee a time that I will think "I sure wish the kids were gone". I have no doubt that a son would drive me crazy and that I would throw a party on his 18th birthday more for myself than for him. In the case of my girls, it would not bother me if they wanted to stay forever.
Well I guess that is it.
As much as every man wants to carry on the family name and keep their lineage going through their male children, this does not matter to me and not just because of my silly sounding last name.
goodbye and God bless.
Friday, November 21, 2008
No more dummies! (please?)
I would like to talk about stupid people.
You know who you are.
The kind of people that have their turn signal on for a whole mile.
People that do not know how to coordinate a 4-way stop and just assume that the gods want them to always go first and the other 3 drivers can work it out amongst themselves.
The idiot at the drive thru window that makes you repeat your order ten times and then reads it back to you totally wrong.
The woman who drives 3oMPH in the passing lane and speeds up when you try to go around her.
People who watch sitcoms and think "that Neil Patrick Harris is SO FUNNNY (and believe that he is really banging chicks)
People who take the time to vote for their favorite American Idol. (these people usually JUST LOVE THAT CLAY AIKEN!!!!)
People who actually have a favorite NASCAR driver and think that the other hillbillies are somehow cheating.
People who stand in the middle of the aisle at Walmart looking at something, oblivious to the myriad of shoppers around them (most of these people are obese women wearing stretch pants and an oversized shirt featuring a Looney Tunes character like Tweety or Taz or toothless, dirty men wearing a TSHIRT advertising their favorite NASCAR driver or AFC SOUTH football team.)
You know the people that I am talking about.
These people still call radio stations and request a song and wait to hear it instead of downloading it on a peer to peer network.
These are people that take everything literally. They do not understand sarcasm and take everything at face value.
The people who actually buy into stereotypes about ethnic groups, political parties, and take generalizations as the gospel truth.
People who think a big wall will solve the illegal immigration problem and believe that our presence in Iraq is keeping us safer.
People who think that the Bush presidency MUST BE FISCALLY CONSERVATIVE because they are Republican or that Obama actually gives a sh-- about the middle class because he is a DEMOCRAT.
Wakey Wakey Eggs and Bakey. You are off your nutroll!!
I have seen your ilk and I am tired of it.
So the next time you are arguing about 6 donuts being cheaper than a half dozen or think that Daylight Savings Time actually changes when the sun rises by using our magical clocks that control the sun.
*note I do not even want to start explaining that the sun is static and that the earth rotates causing day and night.
or
the next time you speed around me to beat me to the next red light and then pull off slowly when the light turns green
or
decide to procreate causing further harm to the gene pool.
I would like for you draw yourself a hot bath, pour yourself a drink, and make yourself a toaster strudel underwater. (THIS IS SO COOL IF YOU HAVEN'T TRIED IT!)
*note I am just F--KING with you. Please do not try this it make hurt bad.
*_*
You know who you are.
The kind of people that have their turn signal on for a whole mile.
People that do not know how to coordinate a 4-way stop and just assume that the gods want them to always go first and the other 3 drivers can work it out amongst themselves.
The idiot at the drive thru window that makes you repeat your order ten times and then reads it back to you totally wrong.
The woman who drives 3oMPH in the passing lane and speeds up when you try to go around her.
People who watch sitcoms and think "that Neil Patrick Harris is SO FUNNNY (and believe that he is really banging chicks)
People who take the time to vote for their favorite American Idol. (these people usually JUST LOVE THAT CLAY AIKEN!!!!)
People who actually have a favorite NASCAR driver and think that the other hillbillies are somehow cheating.
People who stand in the middle of the aisle at Walmart looking at something, oblivious to the myriad of shoppers around them (most of these people are obese women wearing stretch pants and an oversized shirt featuring a Looney Tunes character like Tweety or Taz or toothless, dirty men wearing a TSHIRT advertising their favorite NASCAR driver or AFC SOUTH football team.)
You know the people that I am talking about.
These people still call radio stations and request a song and wait to hear it instead of downloading it on a peer to peer network.
These are people that take everything literally. They do not understand sarcasm and take everything at face value.
The people who actually buy into stereotypes about ethnic groups, political parties, and take generalizations as the gospel truth.
People who think a big wall will solve the illegal immigration problem and believe that our presence in Iraq is keeping us safer.
People who think that the Bush presidency MUST BE FISCALLY CONSERVATIVE because they are Republican or that Obama actually gives a sh-- about the middle class because he is a DEMOCRAT.
Wakey Wakey Eggs and Bakey. You are off your nutroll!!
I have seen your ilk and I am tired of it.
So the next time you are arguing about 6 donuts being cheaper than a half dozen or think that Daylight Savings Time actually changes when the sun rises by using our magical clocks that control the sun.
*note I do not even want to start explaining that the sun is static and that the earth rotates causing day and night.
or
the next time you speed around me to beat me to the next red light and then pull off slowly when the light turns green
or
decide to procreate causing further harm to the gene pool.
I would like for you draw yourself a hot bath, pour yourself a drink, and make yourself a toaster strudel underwater. (THIS IS SO COOL IF YOU HAVEN'T TRIED IT!)
*note I am just F--KING with you. Please do not try this it make hurt bad.
*_*
Monday, November 17, 2008
The Gas Company Totally Sucks
The gas company totally sucks.
They can turn your gas off if you are behind on your bill. They do not give a crap if you have just had to put your parent in a nursing home, if your kid needed an expensive surgery, or if you just lost your job.
They come to your house and turn the gas off and leave a little pink note on your door that basically says:
ATTENTION: IT SUCKS TO BE YOU. HAVE A PLEASANT DAY, NOW PISS OFF!
They usually do this once you are double-billed and it just happens to be THE COLDEST F__KING DAY OF THE YEAR!!
You call them and tell them that you would like to have your gas turned back on. You are already behind so the bill is usually a substantial sum of money. They charge you around a hundred dollar reconnection fee as well as making you lay down a deposit. It is not like you can use your right as an American to get your gas from an alternative source either.
ANTITRUST LAWS ANYONE!!!!!!! So the gas company (which f__king totally sucks) has you by the short and curlies and you finally get to find out what a cold shower feels like (unless you have an electric water heater) when your balls are already frozen and have shrivelled into a habenero pepper.
The thing that sucks most about this is that the gas company gives not a shit if you are a woman, child, elderly, ill, or crippled. The fact of the matter is that they did not get the already overinflated payment so they will make you suffer until you pay.
I think the corksoakers at the gas company should be submerged in icy waters and have fish hooks ran through their frozen nipples for what they do to people who are hurting financially.
I am sorry, but if the child molestors and rapists in prison can have the right to enjoy a warm room to sleep in and hot water, then a taxpaying moral person should be given the same right even if they are financially challenged.
So until my town gets TWO gas companies that can compete for my business, I will have to continue smearing dogshit on their drive-thru window.
I must go now. My pomeranian has just unloaded a creamy steamer that I am about to post on the gas company's door much like they left me a pink note telling me to go F__K myself.
FIN
They can turn your gas off if you are behind on your bill. They do not give a crap if you have just had to put your parent in a nursing home, if your kid needed an expensive surgery, or if you just lost your job.
They come to your house and turn the gas off and leave a little pink note on your door that basically says:
ATTENTION: IT SUCKS TO BE YOU. HAVE A PLEASANT DAY, NOW PISS OFF!
They usually do this once you are double-billed and it just happens to be THE COLDEST F__KING DAY OF THE YEAR!!
You call them and tell them that you would like to have your gas turned back on. You are already behind so the bill is usually a substantial sum of money. They charge you around a hundred dollar reconnection fee as well as making you lay down a deposit. It is not like you can use your right as an American to get your gas from an alternative source either.
ANTITRUST LAWS ANYONE!!!!!!! So the gas company (which f__king totally sucks) has you by the short and curlies and you finally get to find out what a cold shower feels like (unless you have an electric water heater) when your balls are already frozen and have shrivelled into a habenero pepper.
The thing that sucks most about this is that the gas company gives not a shit if you are a woman, child, elderly, ill, or crippled. The fact of the matter is that they did not get the already overinflated payment so they will make you suffer until you pay.
I think the corksoakers at the gas company should be submerged in icy waters and have fish hooks ran through their frozen nipples for what they do to people who are hurting financially.
I am sorry, but if the child molestors and rapists in prison can have the right to enjoy a warm room to sleep in and hot water, then a taxpaying moral person should be given the same right even if they are financially challenged.
So until my town gets TWO gas companies that can compete for my business, I will have to continue smearing dogshit on their drive-thru window.
I must go now. My pomeranian has just unloaded a creamy steamer that I am about to post on the gas company's door much like they left me a pink note telling me to go F__K myself.
FIN
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Antikristos
Hello.
I am sure that everyone has a theory about who the Antichrist is supposed to be.
Is it Javier Solana? Is it Barack Obama? Is it a bleached-a blonde-a named Yolanda?
Could it just be that the antichrist is you and me? That little part inside of you that takes the best piece of pizza when you see your wife eyeballing it.
You know, the self-centered and narcissistic side of all of us, that typically wins in most moral or ethical quandries. What is best for ME?
If Christ stood for sharing, compassion, love, obedience and respect for God and fellow man, then the the anti-christ would stand for selfishness, apathy, hatred, willful disobedience, and irreverence.
In a nutshell, THE WORLD.
So before you post your next 2012 Mayan calender, Antichrist, End of Days, Planet X, Apocalyptic video on YouTube talking about Obama being the Prince of Darkness maybe you should take a look in the mirror.
Everytime you put what you want in front of the needs of others, you are being antichrist.
Besides, everyone knows that Dr. Phil is the antichrist, anyway.
I am sure that everyone has a theory about who the Antichrist is supposed to be.
Is it Javier Solana? Is it Barack Obama? Is it a bleached-a blonde-a named Yolanda?
Could it just be that the antichrist is you and me? That little part inside of you that takes the best piece of pizza when you see your wife eyeballing it.
You know, the self-centered and narcissistic side of all of us, that typically wins in most moral or ethical quandries. What is best for ME?
If Christ stood for sharing, compassion, love, obedience and respect for God and fellow man, then the the anti-christ would stand for selfishness, apathy, hatred, willful disobedience, and irreverence.
In a nutshell, THE WORLD.
So before you post your next 2012 Mayan calender, Antichrist, End of Days, Planet X, Apocalyptic video on YouTube talking about Obama being the Prince of Darkness maybe you should take a look in the mirror.
Everytime you put what you want in front of the needs of others, you are being antichrist.
Besides, everyone knows that Dr. Phil is the antichrist, anyway.
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