Thank Heaven (for little girls).

Hello, loyal readers.


I was just thinking about my tendency to produce female offspring.

I have a 7 year old daughter and my wife is pregnant with yet another human being of the double X chromosome variety.

I realize that being 2 for 2 on the girls is not astronomically improbable, but I find myself wondering if THE BIG GUY UPSTAIRS prefers that I have girls instead of boys.



Every man dreams of his son scoring the winning touchdown in the Super Bowl. I have to say that I would enjoy having a son, but it does not look like I am going to have a boy. So I will give you a list of the things that I enjoy most about being a father to girls.

1) I have never felt so important. My daughter WORSHIPS me. I like being the "good guy". She thinks I am the greatest thing ever. She constantly wants to sit next to me and if my wife uses even the must subtle terse tone, my daughter will quickly make it apparent whose side she is on and say "Be nice to my Daddy!"

2) I do not feel the overwhelming need to be a prick to "make a man out of the boy". With a girl, you feel like you can spoil her rotten and not worry that she may not turn out right. Our expectations for girls are pretty low in this society which makes parenting easier.

3) If she throws like a girl I will not be in the least bit embarrassed.

4) Throughout her life she will provide me an excellent chance to show my virility by scaring the hell out of her boyfriends.

5) Did I mention how great it is to be treated like I am important?

6) Girls tend to take care of you when you get older. They come around alot more and make sure that everything is going well. This will come in very handy when it comes time to decide whether or not I should be put in a nursing home. If I had sons I would be eating tapioca and watching Jeopardy! before you knew what was going on.

7) The "facts of life" speech will be handled by the mother. I will be spared the whole "it is natural to play with yourself" speech or the infamous "sex is something special between two people that is meant to be treasured and not approached lightly"speech. While my wife is going through that, I will catch a Chicago Bears game on Sunday Ticket, scratch my balls, and shout Hallelujah for having all girls.

8) Although girls get in trouble sometimes, I will have fewer school principal calls, requests for bail money, and the other things that young men often bring to the table.

9) My children will not feel the need to "not become my old man". The only thing that a father does to affect his daughter's consciousness is lay the blueprint for what her future husband will be. I am doing my best by holding down a job, taking care of my kids, treating the women in my life with respect, and put family first. If my daughters future husbands do the same, then I have done a great job.

10) I will not be in a hurry to get her out of the house. I cannot forsee a time that I will think "I sure wish the kids were gone". I have no doubt that a son would drive me crazy and that I would throw a party on his 18th birthday more for myself than for him. In the case of my girls, it would not bother me if they wanted to stay forever.

Well I guess that is it.
As much as every man wants to carry on the family name and keep their lineage going through their male children, this does not matter to me and not just because of my silly sounding last name.

goodbye and God bless.